For months now, I’ve been hearing co-workers talk about missing items from their lunches, and snacks that they store in their work area either completely missing or showing signs of someone having helped themselves to handfuls, etc. I had a big jar of blueberry natural fruit spread (that I’d only dipped into once) come up missing, and my carton of Half n Half that I store in the refrigerator often shows signs that someone has been helping themselves to it.

One lady keeps having to replenish her blue chips and pretzels because someone apparently comes into her office and helps his or herself after the lady has left for the day. She’ll come back in the next morning and find her desk drawers open and crumbs scattered…

The lady I share an office with has had her chicken salad ‘lifted’ from the little frig in our conference room, as well as cheese puffs she had stored in one of her file cabinets in our office. Last week, she noticed that a half bag of Jelly Belly jelly beans had been taken, and a few days later, her big bag of walnuts had been ‘broken into’. Even her jar of coconut oil had been dipped into. Eegads!

So today I was sitting at my desk in my office. My back faces the door, and my office mate had taken the day off. I hear the door open and it’s my boss. She asks me where “Betty” is, and attempts a dialogue with me. I turn around to look at her while she proceeds to open up Betty’s file cabinet. She pulls out Betty’s bag of walnuts, helping herself to a huge handful, dropping walnuts onto the floor while doing so, continuing this chitty chatty dialogue with me, I supposed to try to divert my attention. DUH! Then as she’s closing up the bag of walnuts, she says, “Ya know, I gotta tell ya…I come in here sometimes when you guys aren’t here and take some of your stuff.”
Uhhhh, no sh!t???!!!! I didn’t know what to say, so the only thing that came out of my mouth was, “Well, it ain’t MY stuff you’re stealin’!” I was trying to let her know in a roundabout way that it wasn’t right for her to be helping herself to the ‘stuff’ of someone who wasn’t even there to slap her hand and tell her “No!” Otherwise, I was feeling speechless. I mean, she’s my boss. Ugh. I am flabbergasted that anyone would have so much nerve!

Betty’s file cabinets were old when she acquired them and she has never had keys to lock them. Otherwise, I’d suggest that she do. Our office doors do not have locks on them, so ole bossy has the freedom to come in and grab whatever the heck she sees fit to grab.

Do these ‘thieves’ have no respect? No boundaries? No scruples? What gives?
Does anyone here have any similar experiences that they’d like to share?

well, now I know that what I did was not nice, but what THEY did wasn't nice either!

Every AM a coworker would bring in burritos at work and sell them. I would buy one for my break, as did alot of other people. There were alot of people working there...it was a big place.

Well, I would wrap tape around my burrito and write my name on it. We all did.

Every day, someone would steal MY burrito. People saw me buy it, put it in the fridge for break and BAM, a couple of hours later it was gone!

They did the same thing with my cookies, but not just MY cookies, ANYONE's cookies! We had drawers that we could close up, but couldn't lock them. Most of the time we put our supplies in there, but we also put our cookies and stuff in there too.

One day I got sick & tired of them doing this to me, so I baked chocolate chip cookies and threw in a few ex-lax instead of chocolate chips figuring we would figure out who it was by watching who wound up going to the bathroom alot.

They never stole my cookies again....even if I left them out.....or anyone else's either.

Shamefully, I made a burrito using a wee bit of cat tuna. Never again did they steal my burrito either!

I know, it was mean, but that was MANY years ago. I wouldn't do it now. It did stop all the food theft though!

That's about the tackiest thing I ever heard of.
I used to be at the front desk at an office. I had everything in my drawers. Oil, vinegar, parmesean cheese, popcorn, tootsie pops, asparin, tylenol, etc. etc. I always shared with people. They usually respected me and asked. I always was happy to share but it would really make me mad if people felt entitled!!

I bring food to work on a daily basis. I never leave anything behind.

Before I got to the part in your story about your BOSS being the one stealing the food, I was thinking maybe it was someone in need who was taking the food. (You never know what someone's situation might be. Did you see the movie "The Pursuit of Happiness"?)

Assuming that your boss isn't in need, I agree that it's wrong for her to steal her workmate's food.

Maybe you all should kill this boss with kindness. Give her gift certificates to the local grocery store or McDonalds. Make it a gift from those she stole from. Enclose information about a local food pantry. (LOL)

I, too, thought the thief may have been someone in need. This boss is beyond belief! I'd be tempted to do the ex-lax thing too. But how does one "alter" a bag of walnuts or gourmet candies in a box? I'd probably bring in a big old metal box with an ugly padlock hanging from the front and keep it under my desk. The uglier and more prison-like the better.

Man, I don't know...boss or not, I probably would have said something. I might have somehow cloaked it in kidding, but I still would let her know that people are not ok with her helping herself to their food.

Something that puts a little shame where she obviously has none already like, "Yeah...so-and-so was really out of luck when they went to find the chicken salad they brought for a lunch and it was gone. She didn't get lunch that day."

Yea, ole BOSS makes twice as much $$ as I do I am sure. Not only that, but she's a therapist (LCSW) of all things!! She probably helps people on a daily basis who have the same or similar ADDICTIONS! For the most part, she is into healthy living. She meditates, does Yoga and doesnt eat red meat . She isn't overweight by any stretch of the word. Can a person be a foodaholic and not be overweight??

Once I was at my desk, eating my lunch. There were pretzels sitting there and AS SHE HELPED HERSELF TO A HANDFUL, she said, "Hope you don't mind that I have a few of these." to which my response was, "Sure, but take it easy cuz it's my LUNCH I'm eating here!" I AM happy to share, but for cryin' out loud, at least let me give you the "OK" BEFORE you start grabbin'! Ole BOSS is indeed a rare bird.

Anyway, I guess the solution is to just not ever leave anything behind or to lock up whatever IS left behind. Like I said, my 'office mate' doesnt have locks on her cabinets so if she wants the thievery to stop...well hell, I'm gonna suggest that she store her important goodies in MY (locked) file cabinets!! I hate that it has come to this, but oh well. :-/

Same here. I don't mind sharing, but I expect people to ask and remember who shelled out the dough.

and, I would do the ex-lax trick, even today.

I'm not sure whether I would confront the boss quietly or out her to everyone else and watch the uproar. First, the boss should make enough money to cover her food requirements. Second, the boss should be the best-prepared person in the room - none of this "didn't think about, don't have time, was in a hurry" business. Third, if the boss will pilfer from you, what other rules/norms will she break?

If this boss is a gem and wonderful outside the food issue, probably worth keeping and reining in. Otherwise, revolt!

I do get so angry with her that I want to 'out' her, but the truth of the matter is that she has had my back and taken a stand on my behalf at least a couple of times.

I am not condoning her thievery. Not at all. But BECAUSE she is my boss and BECAUSE I value and really need my job, other than putting locks on things at work, it is probably best for both her and I that I only do my grumbling HERE.

Ya know, a boss that has your back is probably worth feeding once in a while. But I would still take exception at the manner in which she takes her tribute. Maybe bring her her own bag of whatever and see how that plays.

Ya know Thomas, I really think that might normally be a fine idea, but in BOSS'S case, I'm inclined to believe that once she runs out of her own snack, she'll be right back to foraging around in other people's stashes again.

Suggestion: the whole office decides at once from one day to overnight completely changed NEVER leave food ever. Take it for self and not leave overnight, hide it elsewhere during day (maybe a communal chest with a key someone minds / all stuff that can go in one's satchel).

QUOTE (Isabella @ Feb 8 2008, 11:11 PM)

Before I got to the part in your story about your BOSS being the one stealing the food, I was thinking maybe it was someone in need who was taking the food. (You never know what someone's situation might be. Did you see the movie "The Pursuit of Happiness"?)

Assuming that your boss isn't in need, I agree that it's wrong for her to steal her workmate's food.

Maybe you all should kill this boss with kindness. Give her gift certificates to the local grocery store or McDonalds. Make it a gift from those she stole from. Enclose information about a local food pantry. (LOL)

This is REALLY a good idea! For one, it might make her aware that people think she is in *need* and she might stop! Maybe for valentines or her birthday...chip in and get her a food gift certificate! And it might make her aware that she is crossing the line and she might stop.

On the other hand, she would KNOW you told, so maybe not such a good idea after all.

With my burrito incident, I even wrapped a note around it saying GET YOUR OWN-LEAVE MINE ALONE!
That didn't work either. And everyone was puzzled as to why it was always MY burrito that was missing.

We found out who it was, and had he just said something, I would gladly have bought him one, it was only a dollar!

Your coworkers could put a sign on their goodies, since they don't know who is stealing it, and say please leave my food alone. If you absolutely NEED it, I will be happy to buy you some.

That might shame her into respecting other people's things?

I hate to even bring this up, but you have heard that double dipping into stuff spreads thousands of germs?
If not, it was on the news a few days ago.

Well, if she is digging into peoples nuts & stuff, she is using the same hand to put them into her mouth, which is tantamount to *double dipping*.

I don't want to get gross or upset anyone here, but imagine this scenario:

Say your boss has herpes. Perhaps she has a sore on the inside of her mouth. She dips into someones goodies, her fingers touch her saliva, she uses same hand to dip into goodies again.....is it POSSIBLE she could contaminate someone else with the herpes virus?

And it could be the other way around....maybe the owner of the goodies has herpes, in which case boss is exposing herself to the virus?

Not a healthy thing to do anyway. You COULD approach your boss using that scenario, since you know she is dipping into their food, and tell her she could get sick by doing that. I know *I* would do that.

Last week, a co-worker opened the fridge. I was right behind him. I had my coffeemate, with my name all over it, and he was busy talking to someone. He reached for it, and I thought he was getting it for me....after all, it had my name on it!

So I grabbed it and thanked him, and promptly added some to my oatmeal. As soon as I did that, I started thinking...."Oops....he was not getting it for me, he was getting it for himself!"

So I offered him some....explaining I thought he was getting it for me. He was embarrassed, said there was never any creamer for the coffee and he would like some.

It was obvious to me that he had been using it all along! LOL

I don't mind sharing, but there are those people that never bother to replace anything they use up, or consider its not theirs in the first place, perhaps they should ask. I would say yes, but still.....its the principle.

I was sure that the thief was a hungry cleaning lady! But a boss, she is either ruthless or she has an addiction she cannot control. I'm not sure if it is hilarious or sad.

I love the idea of laxative!! A drop or two of fierce chili oil would do the trick, too. If you want to be obvious, use heaps of it but if you don't, use so much thai chili or tabasco that you could imagine someone actually eating such stuff. You could even tell everyone that you are so fond of hot food...?

Well in thinking this through further, I have a feeling that the next time she goes digging into "Betty's" file cabinet for walnuts and/or jellybeans, and/or cheese puffs, and she finds a big gap where the bags WERE, maybe it will hit her that the items have been moved to a safer place. I mean, think about it! If all of a sudden, a drawer that was previously filled with stash is now EMPTY, wouldn't that trigger something?

On Monday, I'm going to offer Betty my locking file cabinets to store the important stuff.

Actually, we later found out it was the janitor....a gentleman that was not hurting for cash. He could have said something, we would have been happy to get him one!

The cookies....well it was the night shiift I think. Either way, they never bothered anyone's cookies again, probably out of fear that they might all have ex lax! LOL

Yes, I can see after more information why it's the better decision for you not to out her.

I tend to be a total moocher when someone is eating something that I like, but I always ask first and I would never just take something without the person's knowledge. It's not a quality I'm proud of, necessarily, but I also like to share my food. I don't know - I guess it's a way I bond with people?

Back to the point at hand. Don't out her but confront her with a tinge of humor is still my take on it and it sounds like you are very deft at doing that already.

That is appalling. I would certainly spread the word that she's the one stealing the food.

I like the Ex-Lax solution and I will be filing that away for future reference. Another solution would be to leave a note in the bag with the food, that said something like, "HELLO [boss's name]! Why are you looking in this bag?? You're not planning on stealing my food, are you?" Or how about a ready-to-spring mousetrap in the bag? Get creative!

I don't have a food thief at work (or perhaps there is one and I don't know about it b/c I never leave anything in the communal fridge, which many dozens of people have access too) but one of my co-workers routinely goes through others' desks and once took my annual evaluation off my desk and held on to it for three days! Then he handed it back to me with a casual "Oh is this yours?" (well, it has my name and handwriting on it and you TOOK IT OFF MY DESK, so yeah it is probably mine!). He also goes through other people's mailboxes, I've had things go missing from my inbox, and once he opened my mail in front of witnesses. His excuses are always the same, "I don't understand" and "It was an accident". This happens constantly. My response? "Oh Hell no." You can bet I've reported him, in writing, and ripped him a new one. (This is the co-worker I've referred to as "the ninny" in earlier posts - he has pronounced autism/Asperger's-like unacceptable behavior.)

Now we (my co-workers and I) have to lock up our desks - if I am leaving my desk for even a minute I put away whatever I am working on and lock it up. I also have to lock my computer workstation or he'll look at that. He's a big freak and I lost my patience with his nonsense long ago. I no longer have an "inbox" on my desk and all colleagues have been requested to hand to me in person any mail, notes, messages, books or whatever - to NEVER leave ANYTHING on my desk for me, as it may disappear, in fact it is likely to disappear.

I imagine it is infuriating too to have food go missing. I'd set a trap. I'd also probably wonder repeatedly in a loud voice as to who might be stealing food, esp. around the most likely suspects.

Well since BOSS has already admitted "“Ya know, I gotta tell ya…I come in here sometimes when you guys aren’t here and take some of your stuff.”, there is really no question as to who has been stealing SOME of the food around the place.

Okay - this is what I would do - leave the empty food bags in Betty's cabinet - do not replenish them -just leave them there empty. Meanwhile, have her hide her food stash in a locked container elsewhere. Bosso will just think that Betty has run out and not replaced the food yet. Eventually, she will get tired of going to Betty's cabinet and finding nothing there. I do think it's some kind of psychological issue with your boss, though.

I have done this. I once left a huge note in my desk that said, "IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU ARE IN MY DESK WHERE YOU DO NOT BELONG." The snooping stopped immediately.



I have also done this. It really works.

Yea. me too, Deme. Over the course of the several years i have been working there, BOSS has alluded to having had a variety of 'addictions' in the past that she had to come to grips with and overcome. Maybe this is one that she hasn't yet come to terms with. Or maybe she somehow feels entitled to other people's things. I dunno. *shrug*

To the original poster: Why not suggest your office get vending machines? This along with hiding your personal food should solve the problem.

Our office already has vending machines. And if anyone uses vending machines, they are aware that the items available are not only single servings, but quite expensive compared to items purchased in bulk.

Well, you know....I've heard more than once that people get into healing professions largely because they desire to heal themselves. As a person in one healing profession transitioning into another, I'll say that I think that's probably true and often, it can bring a certain type of empathy and experience to the situation that is very helpful. I'll also say that I've had to learn the hard way with alot of things and, while it stings, sometimes being confronted has been the only way with me. Bossy needs to be told how lame this is because she ain't gettin' it....diplomatically, of course. (tall order, I know)

If she's got a food addiction she is not dealing with the vending machine will be of little interest. In her mind the calories from stolen food don't count because it's "just a little bit" and it wasn't hers in the first place. There is usually some tricky way of deceiving yourself going on in these cases.

It's too bad this wasn't a public topic loudly discussed first off so she could realise that people were upset. If there is any way to make that happen I would go that route. Otherwise, yeah people should leave their empty packages and hide stuff. You can get small lockable boxes easily.

Why not do this......maybe plant a seed for someone to suggest that one of the people go to the boss to complain about the fact that someone has been stealing food from people.

You are the only one that knows, so if they innocently suggest that the boss try to get to the bottom of it, she will then realize that people are NOT happy about the situation.

Again, since THEY don't know who it is, this will all be quite innocent on their part. Who knows, maybe boss will confess, maybe not, but at any rate, she will then know their feelings and might actually stop doing it.

They could say something like they think the janitorial service is stealing their goodies, and they want her to find out who is doing it or talk to someone to put a stop to it.

Maybe she thinks she is *close* enough to everyone to go ahead and help herself?

I leave work at 8 pm every night (so I can come in later, because my boss comes in later -- we're not morning people). Most everyone else is gone by 6. I have sat at my desk and watched attorneys go into other attorney's offices and eat whatever is in there after hours. I used to have a candy dish at my desk but it started getting really expensive to keep filled up, and nobody was putting any change in it to help me out, so I stopped. One of the attorneys came and asked me, after I'd put the candy dish to rest, if I had any more candy. I said no, but there's candy in the vending machines. He said he just wanted one piece. I said so just don't eat the whole candy bar ...

There are often notes left on the refrigerator about people having their lunches stolen or items from their lunches stolen. Staff members don't steal food from each other -- I've never seen that. And besides, we get a $20 food allowance any night we have to work late -- that's true for attorneys and staff. So it's not that anybody has to go hungry.

We had a visiting attorney once who asked to borrow my toothpaste and I let him the first time he asked. He wouldn't leave me alone after that and really got annoyed with me that I wouldn't give him my toothpaste every day after lunch. There is a hotel with a newstand right across the street where you can buy small tubes of toothpaste if he couldn't remember to buy some and bring it in. There was no good reason he had to use mine.

It's some psychological weirdness about other people's things.

I don't get it , why do you have to be diplomatic and why not to say direct" We are not happy with you taking our food on a regular basis without even asking us". I understand that because she is a boss you are reluctant to say it like it is, but that is what she is counting on, and that would really annoy me just as much as having to eat only half of my lunch every other day.

I'd go to HR about it, if your company is big enough. The boss has admitted theft?? What else does she think she has the right to steal? I'd definitely wonder, and so should your company.

I'd also be reluctant to go the Ex-Lax/brownies route. Tainting food supplies is not a joke, for all that people seem to think that this particular variation is hilarious. It's actually a crime, and for good reason.

On another note, I've known some people with health issues that they had every right not to discuss casually in the work place, and believe me, ingesting laxatives unawares is the last thing they need, no matter how obnoxiously they might behave towards their co-workers.

QUOTE (rococo @ Feb 9 2008, 06:31 PM)

I'd go to HR about it, if your company is big enough. The boss has admitted theft?? What else does she think she has the right to steal? I'd definitely wonder, and so should your company.

I'd also be reluctant to go the Ex-Lax/brownies route. Tainting food supplies is not a joke, for all that people seem to think that this particular variation is hilarious. It's actually a crime, and for good reason.

On another note, I've known some people with health issues that they had every right not to discuss casually in the work place, and believe me, ingesting laxatives unawares is the last thing they need, no matter how obnoxiously they might behave towards their co-workers.

I am all too aware of the problems associated with the ex lax stunt I did but when you are in your 20's you don't think about those things....or maybe I am the exception and everyone else was aware of these things in their 20's? Either way, if he had never reached into my area and stolen something from my desk, he never would have eaten the ex-lax cookies because they were not in a public area for all to eat.

I believe I said I realize now that it was not a good thing to do.

I would not do it again because I am older and wiser. I was lucky nothing happened when I did that.

But let me pose a question to you.....what if a person made cookies with bits of ex lax because they were terribly constipated, or they added some other medication they might be taking because it made it easier for them to take that medicine and someone stole their goodies from their drawer, which was closed to everyone else?

Legally, I don't think that person could be held liable for illness or injury. Had the thief not reached into their private drawer and helped themselves to their things, then nothing would have happened.

If you reach into a person's personal area and help yourself to anything they may have in there then you get sick or something, that is YOUR problem, not theirs.

Offering someone a batch of ex-lax laced cookies is one thing, but having someone help themselves to goodies in your personal drawer is another. I have little sympathy for the thief that gets sick because he was stealing.

Don't help yourself to anything in my personal desk drawers and you will never have to worry about eating anything that might make you sick.

Where is the cut off point? If someone will open up your personal desk drawers and help themselves to eat your goodies, maybe they are just as likely to steal any money you might have in there as well, right?

I dont reckon stealing food would do a thing for thier delicate constitustions in that case, I am just not feeling the sympathy here.

No sympathy from me, either. Adding medicines/legal drugs into food you know someone would eat might be legally wrong. But the most potent chili sauce or oil available in the supermarkets - what's wrong with that? It's legal stuff. You just like hot food... :)

An excellent idea. Or you could make chocolate cookies or brownies (or anything) and load them with nutmeg, or salt, or garlic, or vinegar, or horseradish, or bbq sauce or coffee grounds...

'Deceptively Delicious', indeed! Be careful that ol' Jerry Seinfeld's wife doesn't steal the idea!

I like the idea of someone (or a group of someones) going to your boss and telling her there's a food thief in the office. She obviously needs a wake-up call. Or maybe you could go and talk to her privately and tell her that people are getting upset by all the missing food. You could kindly ask if there's anything you could do to help her deal with this issue. If she says she hasn't taken all the food that's gone missing, you could suggest that if anyone else knows she's been taking food, they may feel free to follow her example. She's the boss, after all; if she does it, it must be OK.

If nobody wants to be that direct, then I'd probably have two stashes of food -- one labeled clearly for the "food thief" and one labeled clearly for yourself.

Well, I am only witness to her helping herself to "Betty's" stuff. Betty knows now, so it's up to her to handle it how she chooses.

I've done all that I feel comfortable doing. I have no proof that everything that has come up missing in the place has been taken by BOSS, but the next time I hear someone complaining about 'someone' digging into their stuff, I will let them know that BOSS has been spotted wandering into offices, foraging for food.

Do I wish to make a bigger deal of this? No. Do I want to take it further to HR? Nada. I basically came here to share my story. Betty now knows for sure that it is BOSS who helps herself to her goodies. If Betty wants to shrug it off, then that is her prerogative.

If I learn without a doubt that BOSS helps herself to any of MY things or if I happen to notice her digging into anyone else's 'stash', I will tell them what I saw, and for the loss of my own things, I will take some sort of measures to try to make BOSS stop. My style would probably be a note on top of what's being dug into reading something like, "Please stop stealing my food unless you would like to leave a little money behind to help me keep replenished." Sorry, but that is my style. I am a non-confrontational, non-aggressive sort and that's just how it is.

I very much appreciate everyone's responses, suggestions and support. Thank you. :-)

Hm, I'd get a locking cabinet and lock all my personal items in it when I wasn't at my desk. fortunately I have locking desk drawers so I don't have to worry about that, but that's what I'd recommend.