I am considering, I have been going back and forth on this, of letting my short hair grow long. I have short hair for about 10 years now. I always had long hair and decided that it was time for me to "grow up" and cut my hair short. I shocked everybody with my drastic decision. My husband didn't recognize me when I came out of the salon. Now, I am going to be 42 next week, and thinking to let my hair grow. There is this saying, if you are over 40, cut your hair short. Well, I am thinking of going the opposite direction.

What do you think? Do you think women over 40 should have long hair? I not thinking waist length hair, just shoulder length. I have been "combing" (pun intended) the pros and cons of longer hair length.

I think you should try growing it out and I don't feel age should be a factor. You never know, you might really enjoy it or you might not.

IMO - I don't think there's anything wrong with shoulder-length or even a bit longer, for women 40 and over. I wouldn't go too much longer than that; it is a rare woman who can pull that off and long long hair can be aging depending on someone's face shape and 'signs of facial aging' as they say on the skin-care and plastic surgery commercials.

You may want to get long-ish layers rather than all one length - is your hair straight, wavy, curly, frizzy? Thick, or fine? Full or flat? Manageable or 'difficult'? Color treated? Dry, or oily? These are also things to consider when making your decision. Also do you have a hair stylist whose opinion you trust? - he or she can be a big help here too.

Good luck!

The length you are going for is called Mid-length. That's a length that looks great on women of all ages. It might be fun to go to a wig shop and try on different styles and colors to see what you might be shooting for. That in-between time of growing out can be hard sometimes and it's great to see what your goal will look like to keep you from cutting it out of frustration while your trying to get there.

Go for it - I don't think age is a factor at all, it's all about your hair, how it wears when it's long, the condition you keep it in, the color, the cut - if the hair looks great, it's gonna make you feel great and you're going to wear it with confidence.

Agree with Rita's suggestion -- hit the wig shops and see what you think. Shoot; maybe I should try that.

I have a 51-year-old friend with long hair (middle of her back). It's thick and healthy looking, and no gray whatsoever. Looks great with her face, too. I try not to hate her. She usually wears it up when she's at work, etc.

I think it depends what your hair type is like. If it looks good longer, do it! Shoulder length certainly looks good on lots of women. The only thing is, I think it is more important to "maintain" your long hair when you are older, to make sure it is shiny, silky, healthy-looking, well-cut, etc. Scraggly long hair has an aging effect.

I frankly think it is sad that so many women think it is mandatory to cut their hair short after having kids or turning 40. Not all women look good with short hair!

It also has everything to do with the shape of your face. I seem to recall you have a classic oval face, so you can probably wear whatever hairstyle you happen to like and it will flatter you. I have a round face and very curly hair, so it limits my options. (I look ridiculous with my hair blown out straight, for instance. Just appallingly bad. It puts 15 pounds on me instantly.)

Are you really the sort of person who's afraid what everyone else will think? IMO, that kind of thinking is for teenagers. Now that you're not one, do what you want with your hair.

There will always be people around who'll try to persuade you that you should change your hairstyle, no matter what it is. If it's long, they'll say it should be short, and vice versa. If you like your natural color, they'll nag and bully until you change it, then they say you should change it back.

Remember the source, and do what pleases you. It's your hair, on your head.

(Also, remember to treat your hair gently, and condition it well. The longer it is, the older it is, so it needs a bit of care and attention. Protective updos are your friend.)

Last fall I had the urge to cut my long hair short. My hairdresser actually talked me out of it, she said I look great with long hair (it's down to my shoulder blades). I'm turning 42 in April. So no, I don't think age is a limit to hair length - depends on your face and body shape more than your age.

What worrying me is the maintenance. It was too much for me, that is why I cut it short but I miss my hair.

My hair has light waves, lots of hair but not thick, just lots, if I don't put hair serum, I wound up looking like a walking cotton ball and I am graying quite faster. I noticed that I am coloring my hair more often because I am cutting my hair every 4 to 6 weeks and it is coloring all over again. It gets to be expensive. What also worries me is that awkward stage of letting the hair grow. There were several times that I tried to let it grow, but it drove me nuts and off it goes. I guess I have to tough it out.

I recently found a new stylist in my neighborhood. She's the only person who put the idea in my head. The one before, never but he gave me a great cut each time I went and I left happy. I stopped going to him because we moved to Jersey and he is in Staten Island, NY and it is a long, long drive to get there. I had a hard time finding a new stylist since moving to Jersey 4 years ago!

Long hair is less maintenance, in my opinion - cheaper too, you don't have to pay for cuts every month! I just wash and go with my hair.

I do color it every 3 weeks (roots touch up) because it grows very fast and I hate white roots (I have about 1/3 white hairs).

There are all sorts of short hairstyles, not just one. If you still want short, just do a different cut and style. Buy hair magazines and see what might suit your hair.

When I had mid-back length extensions, everyone thought I was about 15 years younger than I actually am. When I cut my hair super short, people thought I was my child's grandmother - so I say go LONG!!! Just stay away from heat styling and bleach ;>)

Haven't read through all the posts, but my feeling is your hair style and cut and all of it should be to compliment your face---regardless of age.
Granted, for me, my less than firm jaw line is having some decision played into it, but not all older people have that "issue."
Wear what makes you look and feel good!

So agree, Cazaubon. For this very reason, I've been thinking about letting my short bob grow out. I'm not sure it would be flattering to this old face, but, boy, do I pine for the ease-of-handling of longer hair...

Scentual, for reference, I'm 55. I think you're still too young to even have to consider age a factor.

Seconding this! Framing the face (and being nice hair) regardless of length and age.

Oh, I'll let this lady speak for my opinion on the subject...

I wish I had her bone structure.

Well, I am a few years over 50, and my hair is long, down the middle of my back, about 2 inches short of my elbow in front and back. I don't have thick luxurious hair, but I don't color it either.

As Popeye would say, I am what I am.

I've never been one to worry much about what people say. You can't please everyone, and if you try, you wind up being unhappy, so why try?

When I get tired of it, I'll cut it. Do what you want....make yourself happy, life is too short! LOL

On The Today Show they did an "ambush makeover" and cut a middle-aged woman's hair to around shoulder length. She hadn't even trimmed it in years, so it was a mess of split ends. The hairdresser said two inches above the breast was the longest he'd advise going if you were of a certain age, but any longer was "hippie grandmother."

If you have an old face, long hair won't make it look younger -- unless the weight of the hair pulls all the wrinkles out of your face!

But cutting it shorter won't necessarily make you look younger either. I can't wait to be a hippie grandmother - that's what I'd love to be when I "grow up"! Honestly, when it comes to something as personal and individual as hairstyle, women need to do what makes them feel happy. I've never understood or "bought" this once you turn 40 you MUST never ever do this or wear that - and who is telling women over 40 what they're no longer allowed to do and why are we giving them authority over our choices and appearance? It's not like wearing one's hair a certain way when over 40 is an evil crime - maybe society thinks that for women, being older IS a crime?

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I don't think it's a case of what one "must" do, or of trying to look younger (which I've never understood because...uh, it doesn't work). It's matter of what looks flattering on us as we get older and our features change.

I say wear your hair, makeup, clothes in whatever way makes you feel most like yourself. Vive la difference!

Thank you for all your interesting comments. Boo society for making that rule, when 40's cut your hair short. The reason behind the theory is that women are raising a family, taking care of the house and working, they need convenience and easy maintenance. It is true, it worked for me but now I am missing my long tresses.

I realized that I have short hair throughout my 12 years of marriage. Well, I think it is time to let it grow. There were many reasons why I cut my hair short, one of course, is maintenance, and the other was starting a fresh start. Two years after getting married, I cut my hair short. It was my way of letting go of the past and it was a rough past, think of the song, I'm gonna wash that man right of my hair, no not my husband, my ex-boyfriend. It was a tumultuous 4 year relationship. My husband provides me what my ex couldn't and that is love and confidence.

The funny thing about my drastic change was that it was going to be temporary but I got carried away with the short hair. It was a good run. Now the task begins, what kind of hairstyle I should go for.

Very glad that you are in a wonderful marriage with abundant love and support, Scentual!
It will be great to read about whatever length and style of hair you decide to grow and rock!
What a beautiful cover, Demetrue! She reminds me of a kind and brilliant anthropologist I used to know.

How I love this post, scentasablyurs. How very scentsable it is. I'm tempted to print it out and tape it to my bathroom mirror.

"But cutting it shorter won't necessarily make you look younger either. I can't wait to be a hippie grandmother - that's what I'd love to be when I "grow up"! Honestly, when it comes to something as personal and individual as hairstyle, women need to do what makes them feel happy. I've never understood or "bought" this once you turn 40 you MUST never ever do this or wear that - and who is telling women over 40 what they're no longer allowed to do and why are we giving them authority over our choices and appearance? It's not like wearing one's hair a certain way when over 40 is an evil crime - maybe society thinks that for women, being older IS a crime?"

DEMETRUE: I couldn't have said it better. I have seen MANY older women with long, long hair. I don't think it looks bad at all.

I was never one to go with the crowd in grade school, nor did I do it in High School. I have always done "my own thing"....whatever it was at the time.

I used to have this blue t-shirt that had a HUGE fingerprint on it, and it said "I GOTTA BE ME". I wish I still had it.

I am not here to impress anyone. I am, simply put, ME, and no one has ever been put off by that....i.e., boyfriends, friends, co-workers, etc., on the internet, its different....I probably don't sit well with people, but thats cuz people don't know me, and what I say is often taken out of context.

I have nothing to prove. I look at it this way: We all go through phases. I am past my "youthful" days, that WAS *my time*, and I had a ton of fun then, skipped to my own tune and wore things that were stylish. I had a ton of shoes....matched my outfits to my shoes & purses, and had the latest hair styles.

Those things don't matter to me anymore and I *still* skip to my own tune! LOL

People have asked my daughter if I was a hippie, (because of what I named her), but I never was. However, if you look back now....hippies were actually "ahead of their time".

What are we trying to do now? Live green, grow our own veggies and stuff, eat healthier, yada, yada.....That's what THEY did! LOL

So yeah, I might look like a *hippie grandmother* and I am a proud hippie grandmother of NINE.

I always hear doctors and other people telling others to be *themselves* yet its so hard for some people to take that same advice isn't it? I think there is a certain stress related with trying to conform and be with the "in crowd".

I stopped dying my hair years ago when a friend of mine told me it was determined that his mother died due to all the times she dyed her hair but I still get 1-2 inches cut every few months or I get it styled a bit.

To each his own. This works for me and my other half is happy with me the way I am. And if he wasn't, hey, there's the door, I am secure enough with myself to know I can make it on my own.

Would I look *better* if I cut my hair short and dyed it? Maybe. Truth be told, I don't want to blend into the mold that 50+ must do and wear certain things.

Be yourself...you will be happier!

Obviously, there are no rules but which question are we really discussing: what is "ok" beyond a certain age or what looks good?

My hair is pretty long right now and I just had some length taken off and layers cut into it after all that growing....because, and I know it's not true for everyone...it did tend to drag my face down visually. Never noticed it as much when I was younger, but nowadays I really do better with a softer look. I think the best compromise for me is to keep it midlength with soft layering so I can still pull it back for work.

Well, I'm not sure about what we discuss on this kind of thread anymore.
It seems that there is a defensive type of attitude about having long hair, and wearing it, too, by gummit! ;-) LOL

If my hair weren't thinning I'd certainly wear it longer. Probably just above my shoulders, in a precision cut (yep, precision cutting IS making a come-back, thank goodness!) bob. With bangs. Soft bangs.
As it stands now...I get it cut uber-short so I don't have to see the big long hairs all over the place, after they fall out...and I have it heavily layered so I can work with products and make it look fuller, at least.
Not what I want, but what I can do with my hair...and what looks the best on me.
I could walk around with it long, sparse, and stringy...I suppose.
But I'd feel icky.
BTW...layers are great, whether they be short and plentiful or long and spare. They can work miracles when wanting to achieve a more youthful, fresher appearance. :-)

No, I just mean sometimes we start talking about different aspects of the topic and I was attempting to say something to both.

The women in my family have a tendency towards a saggy jawline as we age, so long hair worn down without being broken up - not so good on me. And I've noticed I'm not the only one, is all.

Love the above-the-shoulder bob. I'll probably meander back to it pretty soon.

Oh, well I meant that I do find women (not just here on the board) can get a little resentful when "experts" suggest shortening, lightening, layering -- whatever -- their hair.
I think part of it comes from not wanting to be told how to wear one's hair -- like when husbands forbid their wives to cut their hair -- or just buying into the whole beauty band wagon thing...and for centuries more mature women have bound their hair, hidden their hair, worn it up, and in the latter century started wearing it shorter.
It's that whole "maiden's hair" thing.
How...centuries ago a young maid's hair was her crowning glory and she wore it down to attract suitors.
Once she was married...up it went...or it was hidden...yadda, yadda...

I know I'm not making a whole lot of sense. I'm trying to, though. LOL
The fact that there are beauty "rules" for maturing women, pertaining to hair and makeup...doesn't upset me.
I see a lot of sense in some of them and have applied them in my life.

Still, I agree...if people feel good about how they wear their hair or makeup or clothing, at whatever age...then it's all good.

I have to keep my hairstyle simple, due to chronic ill health, and the inabillity to 'fuss' over it much. Here's a photo taken of me at 51. Short hair does suit me, but I haven't worn really short hair since my late 30s.

No one has any responsibility to change how they look to make others happy, even if the others think you're "prettier" when you do it. Do what makes you happy-- life is too short to take aesthetic cues from others.

I don't really understand the short hair/age correlation. I have very short hair. It is very unforgiving. All blemishes, errors in makeup blending (if I'm wearing any ), and facial features are on display all day, every day. When I get older, I expect I'll consider growing a bit more hair so I can hide a little.

Catie, I agree-- women really do get defensive about their hair. They seem to feel like their femininity is being snatched away. Healthy long hair is fine, but many people, young and old, have a dull expanse of dead keratin on their head and they never do anything with it. Hair someone enjoys styling, hair that accentuates what someone likes about their face and is a satisfying expression of the personality, can be any length and be feminine, masculine, cute, sexy... whatever they want.

I think it's all a matter of what suits YOU, not someone's rules setting an arbitrary age limit. That's me at the left with shoulder-length hair at age 51. I think it looks fine.

It does look great on you, Julia.

I'm not nuts about this look but............

I think you'll know when you start growing your hair. Past a certain length kind of drags you down. This lady needs a little make up. JMHO.
A bob is always good.

Long hair is considered evidence of feminity and sensuality.
What we're being told is that after we grow up we should cut off those aspects of our characters.

If the culture is uncomfortable with an aspect of you...cut it off!

It's the Madonna/Whore thing. An older woman is also assumed to be a mother and should therefore be above such base and selfish desires as wishing to remain attractive. What is she, a sex mad slut who doesn't devote her every waking moment to the nurturance of someone else?!
So with all the lack of creativity of a network tv sitcom creator, we insist on goading people into, dressing and styling themselves into whatever one dimensional role we feel they should be cast in.

And roles for mature women are very one dimensional. You're either the sainted mother, or the wicked step-mother---and we all know the wicked step-mother's main failing was that SHE wanted to be seen as fairest instead of humbly ceding her place to Snow White, cutting off her hair and renouncing the world, flesh, the devil...and no doubt pretty heels.

I would say that sums up my hair at the moment, too. I love shoulder-length hair, and if mine were thicker and less gray (which has changed the texture substantially), and if it didn't drag my features down, I might go for it again. In fact, I still might, even though I know it doesn't look as flattering on me.

I keep trying for Juliet Binoche's hair in "The English Patient." Love the look, but my hair just isn't quite thick enough.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you want long hair I think you should definitly go for it. I had my hair shoulder length for awhile and my friends all told me to cut it.
I just think that that particular woman looks DOWDY! That long hair does nothing for her.
Life is short. Do what you want.

Are there not women with short or shorter hair who remain attractive and desirable?
And who is doing the goading...out here in the real world?

I honestly don't see many people following "rules" around here.
More mature women wear it stick straight, parted down the middle, and to the cracks of their butts, young girls wear it short and sassy, older ladies have short spiky, punky styles -- it's all over the place.
Apparently no one is really following these unwritten "rules" anymore.

I still see no harm in trying something different...which may be a bit uplifting and accentuates the positives.
Truthfully, when I see an older woman with really long hair ... I see hair, whether it's silky and luxurious or flimsy...or like a bird's nest.
I see hair. To see other features on her face she'd have to really accentuate them...and then I'd see hair and makeup.
I'm a realist.
There's always a good balance....and if one thumbs her nose at convention...one can make her own rules, which work for her.

One practical point-- Pregnancy, medication and age can cause hair to thin. That's far easier to hide with textured short hair.

Anyway, agree with the first, disagree with the second. It's considered evidence because it's a social convention. Flappers cut their hair to say the same thing. I don't think it'll ever swing (heh) back to that extent though, because long & well-kept hair is a class marker. It shows someone has the time, energy, money (salons, products, good nutrition) and desire to conform.

There are plenty of men and women who find short hair somewhere between sexy and an outright declaration of lustiness. I've no interest in making mommy spank this thread, so I'll leave you to ponder all the reasons shorter hair can be preferable where physical expressions of love are concerned.

For the straight men who are drawn to it, it seems the most important signal is the flouting of convention. If you're looking for someone willing to gleefully break taboos, short hair is walking proof.

I like to think older women who decide to cut their are declaring freedom from carrying the past on their shoulders, entering a new & self-oriented period of their lives. Hair is such a personal thing, no one should ever press another about how it's cut.



Hmm... In movie casting, this is very true. IRL, Most middle aged women I know are worried about their careers and/or family, and don't even realize they're mature. They're too busy to do all that "mirror mirror" business.

So maybe I should have said long hair has historically been considered evidence of feminity and sensuality.
It wasn't too long ago that women had to cover that evil vain, man snarin' hair when they went into a Catholic church.

Of course! That's the problem with reducing people to a "type" or an ideal. People are so infinitely varied that the ideal always falls short or fails to take into consideration much about human experience.
Most women of whatever age want to feel vital and happy with themselves, and will seek to do so in whatever way they can--career, beauty, what have you.

As with all things, even attractiveness is relative, though, so I agree that one must make oneself happy and the sense of joy that comes from feeling pleased with ones looks will be all the attractiveness necessary.

I like long hair when it's pretty and well groomed, AND I like hippie grandmothers.

Long, glossy hair is also a signifier of youth, which takes us back into the whole loaded territory of the basic fear of older women having both the power of knowledge AND the power of attractiveness.

and NO, this does not mean that I agree with those views.

Sorry if this isn't pro writing, but I'm writing it on the run.

I just turned 45 and my hair is the longest it's ever been since I was a kid and wanted the Susan Dey/Patridge Family look. I like it. It's getting a few grey strands around the temples, but otherwise it's glossy and I keep it trimmed and deep condition it often. People tend to comment on it- they like my color and they remark at the shine.

Here I am:

I know you're lovin' all that hair, but honestly, to me, it's a little Elvira. A bob with sideswept bangs would be gawjus.

I kind of find the whole Elvira thing sexy.

but then I again , I could just be some sort of sick perv.


OR

I used to wear my hair like that as well.

Exactly and that's why I do often feel the need to defend older women's freedom of choice when it comes to their appearances. If we didn't seem to have style experts and the culture hovering about us like vultures saying - "okay, you've hit the big 4-0 - now hurry up and die, become invisible, cut off all your hair, cover up in a burkha and don't make any noise," then I wouldn't feel the need to counter the over-40 style imperatives.

But it's also kind of girly, submissive and old-fashioned. Short hair has more sass.

I need to see about my eyes , I read that sass without the first S , oh my!



I recently got annoyed with my own beloved hair , annoyed enough to insist that it must go , it was just sitting there , dull, .lifeless and full of static and all of this on a Monday , bad for the temper. I set myself up for an angled bob and off I went to the salon to get it chopped off ... she refused , insisted it was much to healthy for chopping , maybe she instinctivly felt that I was having a temporary falling out with my hair , who knows?.

I was so shocked to meet a hairdresser without Edward Scissorhands complex I just sat there and meekly went along. I was happy with the hair in the end and the bob might be a summer things , we shall see , my moods are funny like that.