For me this occasion is much like Christmas , love the concept hate the commercial aspect. Don't get me wrong , I love recieving gifts , I just prefer that the gift comes from the heart and was not done because Mr.Hallmark told someone to do so .



When we first married , my husband , being from a place where this is a new and growing thing wanted to know where I stood on VD and its importance- I admit I was a bit flip in telling him that for me every day is Valentine's Day and he best remember it : ). In all seriousness I told him I wanted to remove the emphasis from gifts , just pool together the money we would have spent on gifts and plan a small getaway , this getaway being on the 14th is optional *, of course , can fall on any day.









ok gang , from the bottom of your heart what is your stand on Valentine's Day?

ok gang , from the bottom of your heart what is your stand on Valentine's Day?

The same as it is for Christmas....Bah Humbug!

Any excuse to go out to dinner, I say.

When I was a kid, I loved Valentine's Day because I loved getting and giving those tacky little valentines at school. Things got a little more complicated after that.

Not a biggie. I did send a lot of Valentines to my friends through a website though.

I like it (in my heart) more than Christmas and Thanksgiving - I should clarify, I like the IDEA of it - love and hearts, candy, flowers and jewelry. Doesn't mean I sit there expecting to be gifted like a queen. ( I do like to look through the jewelry ads and "pick out" my present in my head.) Valentine's Day is for the newly-met and romantic, I guess, it's kind of awkward to be empty-nesters and expected to have to buy each other presents. Me, I accept any and all presents at all times, but I don't demand Valentine's Day booty, and what am I supposed to buy Mr. Sali? Silk boxer shorts festooned with hearts???? Ridiculous! I can see why men just HATE the idea of it, but how hard it is to pick up a bunch of flowers, a card, and some candy at the 7-11 on the way home? It's women who spoil it by demanding diamonds, romantic weekends, expensive dinners, trying to one-up all their friends....when you've been married forever, believe me, a token card is just fine! Mr. Sali used to succumb to peer pressure by his 'office wife' who has, in the past, dragged him to jewelry stores and florist shops on their lunch hour and demanded he pick out Valentine presents (yes, for ME), though I told him to please stop it, a card and a rose will be just fine. So now we usually go to the Psychic Fair that's always held at a hotel around this time of year, I get a 'reading', we pick out some overpriced good-luck stones, and then go out to lunch. Hey, it's February! And we do still love each other, kind of. Don't we, Mr. Sali :D .....Did any of you have the Valentine card exchange in elementary school? I still have a small handful of the cards (kids' moms would buy a box for a quarter). They are OLD, and primitive, like antiques from days gone by..... I wonder Vermont Country Store doesn't offer them for sale to nostalgic baby boomers for $12 a box.

It always feels sort of 'forced' to me. I don't know what to make of it yet. Perhaps b/c in no relationship of mine has it ever been a celebrated holiday - I dunno - I've never been with a guy that's really into V day.

[quote name='Irinadax' date='Feb 13 2008, 09:18 AM' post='341741']
It always feels sort of 'forced' to me.

That's it! High expectations that lead to disappointment thanks to overcommercialization.

After my husband left for work this morning, I forgot and thought that today was Valentine's day. I was deeply disappointed for a few moments that he forgot, until I remembered that today's only the 13th.

We've been married for 16 1/2 years. Valentine's day for us, especially for the past 7 or so years, has been a non-event. Often times not even a card. Boo hoo.

Maybe I won't just feel sorry for myself and I'll plan something for us to do this year.

Valentines Day falls on a thurs this year , and thurs is all about Lost , love, oh yeah , I feel it alright!

Dax , the use of the word forced is perfect , it fits!

I agree with the 'forced' label. Trite, too. And as phony to me as collectively having to share the same lovesong.

My husband gets completely goofy about it. A little tradition for us it to set up multiple Valentines cards around the house, like a treasure hunt. He said he's gotten odd looks buying a dozen "for my wife" Valentines cards at one store!

I used to make a big deal over it, especially when my son was young.
In fact, one year he wanted to make pillows with little love words on them, in sequins.
I spent a fortune on fabric, ruffles, stuffing, and all of the other stuff...and I can't even sew a straight seam.
I was suprised that they turned out quite nicely.
One was sold in a yard sale and the rest were pitched.
*shrug*
I also used to send appropriate cards to all I knew.
Never got any, just loved sending them to...show my love.

Now, it's just another day.
I don't even see the hearts and crap when I walk through the stores, and I've never expected anything from my husband...and haven't been disappointed there.

Bah.

LOL

I love it!

See, I think it can be a fun day, so long as one doesn't have major expectations of True Romance, etc. It certainly doesn't have to be trite or phony in the least. Corny, maybe, I'll grant you. But I'm up for a little corniness now and then.

I'm neutral about it. We don't celebrate it but I don't have a problem with people who do. Whatever floats your boat.

Goofy is about the only thing that could kill the trite, the phony and the forced.

How sweet! ;)

I find it annoying.
Maybe it's because I remember when V-day was just a minor blip on the radar kind of holiday.
It seems to me that those who are in romantic relationships should celebrate their personal anniversaries, or significant dates---PERSONALLY.
Not only is it more meaningful, but it creates less pressure for those who are into all the matin' and datin' but don't have a partner for it.
A society-wide celebration of being hooked up with someone can really hurt those who feel they should be hooked up but aren't.

Admittedly I suck. I'm not a romantic person really, and even if I were in a relationship I'd ignore V-day. If, however, I were romantic my relationship and the celebrations and rituals it inspired would strike me as something that is immensely personal, and immensely individual.

Yep, as Vidabo said, "Trite, phony and forced'

I like Valentine's day - all I ask is a nice romantic card, no flowers/chocolates/big gifts necessary (I prefer to save those for real occasions such as birthdays/anniversaries). I don't care to fight the crowds in the restaurants on 2/14, or spend a fortune on flowers (with the prices jacked up for the holiday and quality questionable).

I think that Valentines day is silly. But the jewelry is not. The jewelry is dead serious. The bigger it is, the more serious it gets.

I think it is kind of a fake holiday, and for those who take it seriously, it is much more likely to bring unhappiness than happiness.

I am apparently judged as a person and a lover by the flowers that arrive in Mrs., T's office on Feb 14. It's almost compulsory, but I've also arrived home empty-handed and that is far, far worse than dropping the $50 at ftd.com.

No, I'm not bitterly resentful (not)... If v-day was more of a two-way street I suppose I could work up a bit more enthusiasm, but at the moment it seems like cupid has his arrow digging in my back while he rifles through my wallet.

Thomas that is awful and part of what I was trying to prevent my husband having to endure , keeping up with the Cupids , stupid.


At my work one can gag on Valentine , there is no getting away from it , even the red foil swag haning over the door to my eyes looks like someone forgot to take Chrimbo down.

I am liking the trite word as much as I like forced !

My husband and I were married on Valentine's Day, so it is a special day for us. We didn't select that day because we wanted to be married on V-Day (specifically), it just happened that that's the day we were married (2nd time around for both of us). Tomorrow will be our 27th anniversary (and we are happily married). In addition (and this was also not intentional), we live on a street named "Loveland". Kinda makes you want to gag, doesn't it, but we find it pretty amusing.

I hate to go out to dinner on V-Day, so we don't, unless it happens to fall on a weekend, in which case we may or may not join the young lovers who are braving the crowds. This year, we will go out on Saturday night, which is our preferred night out for dinner. We usually go out every Saturday night, but because it's our anniversary, we'll make it a point to go somewhere a little more upscale. However, there have been occasions when we've just gone somewhere casual, and that's been fine.

Until last year, my husband would always give me an arrangement of red roses. When I found out how much they cost and realized that I could have a nice bottle (or two) or fragrance for the price, I pointed out how crazy it was to fork over the $$ for roses which are much less expensive. So, he still gets me flowers, but he gets me flowers throughout the year--not just on V-Day.

Present-wise, he usually gets me something, and if I can figure out what to get him, I'll get him something. The day is special to us because it's our anniversary, however. Valentine's Day is cute for the kids in elementary schools. Beyond that, my opinion is rather jaded. If you need Hallmark to remind you to tell someone you love them, then that's too bad. On the other hand, there are women who would probably never get taken out to dinner, or who would never get flowers from their special someone, if it weren't for the commercial hype of it all.

I don't really understand Grinching about holidays. It seems mean-spirited. I've never had a boyfriend or husband who didn't observe Valentine's Day; I can't imagine it. For me, it doesn't have to be a bouquet. It can be one rose -- it can be daisies. There must be a card - mushy or funny, I don't care which kind -- because I save them. Valentine's Day evening should be spent indoors, preferably making whoopee, not the quickie kind, but the kind where you take your time and pull out all the stops. There should be exchanges of "I love you" and affirmations of why you are together. It is impossible to lay it on too thick. I get him a card and a gift (a CD, yes, corny silk underwear, whatever -- something!) make his favorite dinner, wear his favorite perfume, tell him all the things he wants to hear, etc. etc.

I usually give Valentines to my friends, too, even to my bosses at work.

Some of y'all need to get with the program!

not grinching , I just think we are being mean to the other 364(5) days . those days need luvvins and whoopee too

Is St. Valentine's Day a public holiday in the US? (I am the only person I know who is very formal & calls it St. Valentine's Day)

In Australia many people pronounce it "Valentime's" - I don't think they realise it doesn't have an "m" in the name!

St. Valentine's day for me is a day to be endured gracefully - it all feels so high pressured, obligatory, lacking in spontaneousness & in some cases competitive & all for "show".

If you gripe vocally about it people may think you are bitter & loveless & that truly is unbearable. Another thing I find painful is when it is advertised "THE MOST ROMANTIC DAY OF THE YEAR" as though one size fits all. No thank you, not for me.

One more thing - my little mail lady was most indignant - her 8 year old grandson's birthday falls on 14 February & when she went to order his birthday cake she was charged double the price! It made no difference to the shop & SA serving her that the cake had nothing to do with "Valentime's Day" - she had to either take it or leave it.

The price of red roses goes UP too at Valentines day here!
I did get a card and some flowers today and I gave him a patio lime tree (my husband forgets some years and I have once!!) We have been married for 35 years this Sept. So...........
Tomorrow I get the best Valentines present I have ever been given over the years - we go out to the airport to pick up our rescue pug , Rosie!!!!!!! Named after Caron's Rose ( this is the best rose I have been told by the POL members) .

Pugs and Kisses to everyone!

I'm pretty much oblivious to the commercial aspect of holidays. And since Valentine's Day doesn't apply to me, I've been essentially unaware of the whole thing. I'm like that with most holidays. I do the parts I enjoy (family, food, friends) and am just sort of blissfully unaware of the rest. IMHO, life is too short to bother getting worked up or angry about commercial holidays.

Although I do like all the big velvet hearts full of chocolate at the grocery store. I bought one for myself. :)

Why doesn't Valentine's Day apply to you? It's not just for people who are paired up. You can give Valentines to friends, too.

This is true. However, my friends and family would just laugh. Besides, I'm lazy and cheap. And so are they. :)

My husband and I bought a little Kia Sportage today sight unseen. It was owned by a mechanic and it was reported to us, by my husbands boss, to be in excellent condition. The transmission on my little "run around car" went up and I needed another car that was good on gas. So this little Kia seemed to fit the bill, and just happened along at the time I needed it.
We were sitting in the Biltmore parking lot waiting for the mechanic to meet us halfway with the car and when he drove up with it, my husband and I looked at each other and yelled simutaneously "Happy Valentines Day". The Kia was red.

Dewey ~Wow, I love the Valentine's cards hidden all over the place. So cute.

Renee~ You are a Valentine's Day Vixen!

Yay for Rosie coming on Valentine's Day, Lady Jicky!

I loved Valentine's Day when I was in elementary school---the secret crushes, getting a big glittery valentine from the boy you liked, the treats, etc... I remember one Valentine's Day in college. I thought my bf had forgotten me, but having only one small local floral shop, the florist was overwhelmed. I got a beautiful bouquet of baby roses, but they didn't arrive until 11:00 pm Valentine's night.
I am a big proponent of showing your love for someone ALL thru the year, but I do think Valentine's Day is sweet. With that being said, I think my bf and I will have a wonderful little intimate belated celebration together this weekend.


Suzi ~ Great little Valentine's gift for you both to enjoy!

I like the little candy hearts with you're mine etc. on them.

I like Valentine's Day.

I'm a sickie.
I make Valentine's smooches to all, male or no.

One year, I asked my DH to forgo any brouhaha, and simply buy me a guinea pig...

See, I told you I was waclo.

oh, dear- WACKO.

Valentine's Day means love, and that applies to children, grandmothers, the-world-at-large, guinea pigs, and cats and dogs. Lady jicky, I AM SO JEALOUS of you! Good luck with your new pug!

That's how I look at it. I figure we've got holidays to celebrate everything else, why not one to celebrate love in all its various permutations?

I decided a while ago not to let commercialism and hype wreck Christmas for me. (It helps to watch very little TV, I think.) I feel the same way about Valentine's Day.

So to all my fellow perfumistas and -istos, a very merry V Day to you, with smooches all around.

I like celebrating Valentine's Day and I don't even think it is very commerical.

This year I ordered some handmade edible perfume truffles from Ayala Moriel. They arrived in the mail yesterday and I made a card to go with them. And that's my gift for my husband.

He always gives me a gift on Valentine's Day - flowers, perfume, or jewellry, different things. And a card. We always have a cake too that we share with the kids and whoever else comes.

This year my youngest son is making us a special Valentine's dinner. He's experiemtning with exotic recipes so I don't know what it will be.

It's all about me! Seriously! My husband has always made this day special and all about me.

I brought three dozen mini-cupcakes to work and gave cards and e-cards to all my friends, several of whom said I was the only person they got a card or V Day acknowledgment from. See? Such a small investment to make a person feel they are still part of the human race and somebody would notice if they fell dead at their desks...

It's not too late! *shooting you with Cupid's darts*

I love Valentine's Day. I love it before I had a boyfriend. I guess I love the colors red, pink, white and black (red/black, pink/black) and the cute knick knacks and that Spring is around the corner!

My birthday is a few days after valentine's day so I feel the tension/apprehension from my partner. What I tell my previous beaus and my husband is that don't get me anything fancy on Valentine's Day. I am not too crazy about going out to dinner on Valentine's Day. It is too crowded and it is a fixed menu. Just a card, candy, flowers - you know something real simple and make it up on my birthday ; )

I heard sometime last week that Valentine's Day is for kids. I was shocked to hear that. I never viewed it as a kid's day. Well, I have a 3 year old daughter who is turning 4 next month and I am showering her with the cute knick knacks.

This was so nice to read, FTR. While I'm not particularly romantic, I have been feeling that it has become almost par for the course for people to denounce holidays.

I don't Grinch it, per se. I think it's nice if others enjoy it. I personally find it sort of silly to have it decried that on this particular day, you will celebrate your love. I also have seen alot of drama worked up around it that ends up actually having the opposite effect, particularly women setting up expectations that men then have to stress out about fullfilling. Don't see the love in that whole scene. Sounds like for you, FTR, it's sincere and beautiful, but if I look around me I'm very tempted to think you are the exception.

On the other hand... I'm always enthused when others, who find meaning in it, receive flowers at work etc.

Heh. I looked around me at the end of the day yesterday and thought the same thing, actually. This is the first year I haven't had flowers in a long time. I was actually pretty bummed out to realize I really truly am single (this has been the case for awhile now but this is the first Valentine's Day of it). I had myself a lil cry, I admit it. And I can see why there's anti-VDay sentiment -- if I hadn't had the expectation, I wouldn't have the disappointment. But I still think it's a nice holiday and it's really important to tell your friends and loved ones you love them, and yeah, it should be on other days, too, but a sense of occasion is also nice.

So I'll always be a Cupid whether I get anything or not.

Even if I did briefly consider running over two pedestrians arm and arm, her all giggly in high heels and carrying a little clutch purse, going out to dinner downtown, I reckon. I admit it, I had the flash of "DIE, YOU VALENTINE SCUM."

It's a two-edged sword, this Valentine's Day thing...

Yeah, it is. Whenever a holiday is hyped so much (like Christmas), it's hard not to let expectations rise and then feel disappointed. I had many single Valentine's days before I met DH, but I think it would be tougher to face V Day when single again after having had a beloved.

I think you've got a good, balanced take on it, FWIW. (Valentine scum notwithstanding.)

I think you are right about that. That part never crossed my mind.

I have been sick for over a week and I didn't get a Valentine's Day card bought for my beloved.
The selection yesterday was really quite nil, so I decided to make my own. Cheesy perhaps, but I like it! I wrote a funny and loving poem inside for him.

Click to view attachmentHere it is, bf will receive it Sunday:

That's just lovely, Miss Rosebud! Very nice!

To me there's a profound distinction between collective calendar celebrations like equinox, midsummer and X-mas, and personal, intimate ones - like celebrating love. I don't want or like to have the latter orchestrated, particularly not by commerce. There are many authentic and original occasions to tell your intimates you love them - if a calendar day is needed to do so, I personally feel peeved rather than loved. It reminds me of the bloke that enters a restaurant with his roses and camera, to create a 'romantic moment'. It's not that it is just corny and lame, it kills the meaning. I also feel it creates competitiveness, like: did you get anything for V-day? If not, you're a looser. Sorry, I cannot appreciate it, even if I adore Cupid himself. To me he's a private angel.