You've heard the old adage, "It's the squeaky wheel that gets the grease." But then also abounding in our society is the idea of self-reliance: "God helps those who help themselves."

POL'ers, how readily do you seek help and aid when you need it? Do you seek help readily and early, without a shred of guilt or embarrassment or regret-- or do you seek help only when things really get "bad", and do so with a certain amount of swallowed pride, or even guilt or resentment?

And yes, I could be referring to "help" in its many forms: regarding health, housework, finances, child management, work, you-name-it.

Are you a "squeaky wheel" type person? Or a "gut it out" type person?

Gut -it-outer, all the way. I'm jealous of those who aren't ashamed to ask for help.

And you? You didn't say.

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Having lived throough the disaster of Hurricane Katrina, I had no problem seeking help where I could get it. It was dicey , at times, but the situation was desperate. As soon as things "normalized" and I could do for myself, I realized that the help that I sought helped me to get over and beyond the tumult....and tumultuous it was. I have also been known to be the only one to speak up about certain issues, when others were reluctant to do so, in some situations it worked and others I was just the lou squek, that doesn''t stop me from speaking up, though.

It just depends on the situation. There have been times after having surgery or childbirth, that others have helped me by bringing meals for my family, helped with my other children, etc.

I have tended not to ask for help. This can have bad effects, because if you do give others the (false) impression you're doing just great-- when you're not-- they might then be unduly and overly shocked when you DO finally ask for help...

Asking for help with anything is an absolute last resort for me, in almost all areas of my life.

I rarely ask for help.

Health wise I do leave,infact I dismiss systems and leave for months. I am not used to being poked and prodded and when I had to get it done got bored very quickly. What I did find very shocking is you think everything is fine but you have no idea what is happening inside your body!!!

Asking for help,I have to work myself up to it and usually try to handle it.

I believe it's helping yourself to ask for help when you need it. There are lots of different kids of help--not all help is relying on someone else. Sometimes just getting someone else's take on something you're grappling with can put things in perspective and be all the help you need. But in the end, you are responsible for your own actions and decisions.

How's that for fence-straddling?!

I only ask for help if I'm prepared to pay for it.

First I gut it out. If it gets bad enough that I need to ask for help, that means all hell is breaking lose.

The troubles I've had in life could not be 'helped,' by anyone else . . . so I've just . . . gutted them, out.

My first instinct is gut it out, and I usually do.

I am less likely to ask for help at work, more likely with health or household chores/projects, but would have to be in dire straits to ask for financial help. If we're considering help as getting perspective or insight from others, I do that all the time!

I think it stems from "You can't depend on anyone but yourself;" like most things, good in moderation, but in the extreme really means you're unwilling to trust anyone.

In a bizarre way, I think it actually takes a certain strength to be vulnerable and trusting enough to ask for help.

I never used to ask for help. Ever. I'm not sure why. I think I thought it was weak or something. I once had a boss call me on it, even.

That all changed when I went through a terrible time and realized I wouldn't be able to get through it without help. I was terrified of being that vulnerable, but ... I asked. And I've never looked back. Now I take it on a case by case basis, but I do ask for help when I need it. I see it as a sign of strength now, not weakness.

I'll be the odd one out here. I always ask for help, consult with professionals or check out abnormal physical symtoms. I've learned from experience that ignoring a painful or bad situation will only make it worse. Best to nip it in the bud.

This is probably a reaction to the denial promoted by adults in my childhood. Many times a two weeks sore throat turned out to be strep, or an aching arm turned out to be broken (this didnt happen to me, but a kid in my neighborhood). I've learned to take action early:-)

I was raised to gut it out, but I've come to realize that's not the virtue I thought it was. I'm much more willing to let people help me now, and vice versa. I get a lot of pleasure out of helping people, and I figure others do, too. Why should I shut them out?

Of course, that doesn't mean I make a habit of, say, calling my friends in the middle of the night 'cause I'm feeling down, or asking other people to take care of my responsibilities. That doesn't do them or me any good.

It depends if I can/can't or want/don't want to fix something myself. My motto is "It never hurts to ask." If you don't ask, you don't get.

I think when it comes to health, an ounce of prevention and seeking a professional opinion, prevents a boat load of troubles later, for the most part. In the past I have tended to be a little hypochrondriac, but I would rather know when I could do something about a problem, than it be too late. For other issues- I usually discuss matters with my very close friends and possibly my family; if I need help from them it has usually gotten to the place where I don't mind asking.
I am not a big overreactor, usually, and they know that.

Never.

I have an extremely hard time asking for help, and it has been almost painful for me to learn to do it, when I need to. That's only when it's about friends, family, etc. Professional help, I don't have a problem with, because it's a business transaction to me - and for many things - house work, transportation, etc. - I'd rather pay someone than ask for a favor. I'm sure it's all about my childhood environment - low-income and drug and relationship addictions; so it's many things - a matter of not wanting to be a burden, being hyper-vigilant about being drawn in to co-dependence, and an ingrained assumption that there is no one there that can or will help me, but me.

I'm slowly learning to be vulnerable again.

I have no qualms about asking for directions, instructions, and even advice...but it's next to impossible for me to ask people to help me do physical things...or to ask for things or, God forbid, monetary assistance.
Yeah, Hurricane Katrina was a humbling experience, particularly during the month we couldn't get home.
The funny thing is...whenever friends need help moving or doing things...my husband and I are always the first ones there to lend a hand, but when it comes to asking for help when we are moving or have a heavy job where extra hands would be appreciated, we just can't toss it out there that we need help, or even ask our nearest and dearest for it.
Does this come from my upbringing? Well, yeah, my parents were pretty independent...and I was an only child...
Oh, well. We never know what this life will bring...and I may one day be BEGGING for help...
In the meantime...I'll just try to pay for it, and keep a lot of my needs to myself.

Oh...I know that one day...I'm going to have to ask for some kind of assistance with my meds and medical treatment. Kidney disease and the other ailments that go along with it...can wipe out a family's finances...and I don't know what all is in my future...
*sigh*

Exactly! I'm careful what I ask for help with, and double careful who I ask for help, for that reason. If I can tough it out, I'd rather.

In my fifty plus years I think I've asked for help twice, that's about it. I'm very reluctant and perhaps overly private and proud about asking for assistance. However, in the event of a disaster (i.e., hurricane, attack, etc.), yes, of course I would seek aid and comfort...probably behind those worse off though.